This is life...

Everything is about politics. Its doesn't matter if you are good enough, but if you don't know how to play well in the situation, you will be left out. This is not a place for you to learn. Maybe I'm weird for liking someone that many people hate but if at there I can learn and improve myself, I don't mind.

I'm not that kind of people that love to socialize. I'm not that kind of people that know how to lobbying. Technically, I'm not good with politics. That's why I'm taking accountancy instead of political science. I'm not good with words but when I said something, it will be precise and sharp!

Team bonding always important. We are family there!

For debating, I never lose passion towards it. But I do lose passion towards the club. Too much politics in the club. Who said only government has bureaucracy? A small club like this also has. If I say Dungun is worse, this is more worse because a small club like this has a political affairs that worse than a big debate club in Dungun. After a couple years I'm trying to blend in, now I'm giving up. I'm not getting any better, my performance getting worse, and I never been recognize in the club.

I'm not asking for neither power nor position but I don't like to be left out. Is it because I'm not socialize enough? Or just because I'm not pretty enough to get the attention. I have no idea. Only they know the answer. But I thing I know, I'm always there to help the debate club when they need it. But since it looks like it doesn't worth anymore, I better quit now.

Before I been hurt more, before I will suffer more. One thing that I never regrets, they taught me how to communicate with people. How to have networking. I know some people in the club do have networking too, but I believe my ability is better.

Will miss our moments on the ferry. Rhetoricans!

My senior once said, 'You should keep her in the club. She has the potential.' Thanks for that appreciation but I guess, only you saw that. Not others. And I can't wait much longer till people notice me. I don't like the idea of lobbying yourself. I believe, if you are good and talented, people will notice that.

Something much more important, my academic comes first. No matter how much I love debate, study always come before it. Caused in my professional, academic and experiences comes before confidence. 

I know there are lots of time I said i want to quit, but I never do that. This time, I think I will. Insha Allah. I'm tired of the politics in the club and I'm tired of 'socializing' which that is not me. Let me just be a Debater but also a student. Maybe it sounds simple but that's enough compared to those who only know how to talk without knowing how to do works!